This is one of those nights where I can't sleep, despite having exhausted myself thoroughly the night before.

This can mean one of three things:
a. I'm going to go down with some wierd disease, again,
b. I'm slowly building up my immune system again, and it's causing me to stay up later, or
c. I have extremely poor time management skills and/or discipline.

I'm putting my money on c.

On the bright side, I've been able to appreciate my new, albeit temporary, home a bit more. All things considered, I actually got an excellent deal. My humble (oh, alright, not-so-humble) cottage is nicely located close to the parking lot, and close to the access point into the university. Sure, it takes a bit longer to get anywhere, but the views at night are something I won't get in Studville. Due to all cottages only being one story in height, you get to see so much more...with less light, obviously.

Tonight, the moon is an almost glaring disc suspended between the horizon and that point you'd assume was the middle of the sky. Oh, it's lovely. Such a pity that my camera cannot possibly capture all the nuances that this night has brought. There are wispy clouds playing across the face of the moon, the ground lit up by the sheer lunar radiance. It's a night you'd expect to find strange people clad in black jumping from roof to roof, or lovers and friends lying down on the grass to gaze up at the sky.

Also, it's making me rather hungry for some reason. Hm.

But it's a wonderful night.

On the other news, the other guys in the cottage have decided to make some fun by doing scientific experiments around the complex. Mainly blowing up plastic bottles with vinegar and baking soda. Don't ask me why they did it...it's strange enough to hear about two scientists and an engineer placing these rather volatile explosions in a housing complex. The first explosion I assumed was someone's car backfiring. When the second one blew, they looked quite shocked (having been told off by the duty RA for the first one). And there's also a third one, which may be a dud but could also just have delayed action...hahahahahahaha. There's fun to be had as a science major, in this case. Guess you do get a little stir crazy being in a lab all day...

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My First Culinary Abortion for 2008

If cooking is half the battle, eating whatever you just cooked up is the remainder.

And if the quality of food is equal to the amount of effort and skill put into it, I should be thankful that I'm still alive today.

So on to tonight's lovely little tale. It's a story about how a seemingly innocent idea can turn out to be not-quite-so-innocent.

It's called Kakak O's Spaghetti Bolognaise with Corned Mutton.

Now, if the name didn't already scare you off, perhaps the description would.

First of all, gently heat up a frying pan. Preferably a non-stick one. I had the joy of cooking on a steel-only frying pan, and spent the rest of the evening scraping pieces of mutton fat off. And you might want to skip on putting some oil in; this'll be obvious in a few moments.

Next, open a tin of corned mutton (hopefully with a can opener or bayonet). Scoop out half the contents and dump it on the frying pan. The fat content of the mutton should be sizzling happily the moment it hits the pan, thus eliminating the need for cooking oil. Add some chopped onion if you like.

Allow the corned mutton to cook for a while. Yes, I understand it's redundant to cook something already pre-cooked, bear with me. Let it simmer in its own fat until it turns somewhat brownish.

Now dump in some tomato sauce over the pungent concoction. The ones that come in jars. Yes, those ones. What, you'd think I'd actually make my own sauce? Eh? It's cheating? Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Hopefully, you'd have the spaghetti at least half-cooked by now. Otherwise filling your home with the rather strong smell of something that's containing bits and pieces you'd rather not see from an animal mixed with tomato sauce would have all been for nothing. Can't have spaghetti bolognaise without the spaghetti now, can we? I dare say, old chap.

Oh, you might also want to add some spice to make the sauce taste more like proper spaghetti sauce as opposed to reconstituted meat covered by tomato sauce. Correction, make that a lot of spice. I probably used up half of my pepper and oregano supply to make it not smell like a dead sheep.

So, once all this is done, the sauce cooked to taste and the spaghetti reasonably chewable, you now have the (dubious) honor of tasting it yourself. Go ahead.

By the time you finish that first bite, you might well be thinking,

"What the hell did I just make?"

Note that this is an expression of incredulity at the tomfoolery you've unknowingly committed. You have, in fact, created a culinary abortion. Note how the taste of the corned mutton contrasts to practically everything else. You are essentially eating a plate-full of dodgy sheep bits smothered in red paste and unsuccessfully disguised by spices.

You might also feel a little heavy and disoriented after that. Or you may collapse and see a bright light at the end of a tunnel, given the right circumstances. Don't worry too much, that's just the cholesterol speaking. Eating that dish probably contained the equivalent of two Double Big Macs and a generous side order of french fries. Go ahead, sleep it off. With any luck, you won't wake up seven weeks later with a catheter stuck in your nether regions.

And with that warning, I bid you all a good night (or morning).

[End Transmission]

Yet Another Late-Night Soliloquy

So I'm back.

And I'm adapting, though a bit more slowly than I'd expect myself to. The last two weeks have not been the most pleasant of re-introductions into the host culture, but personal sense of destiny (i.e. there's no way I'm going to drop out like this), kendo, and the looming threat of failure have managed to put me back in line.

And then there's the sky.

Oh, yes. I had almost forgotten. Forgotten how the stars were supposed to shine back through the inky night, celestial beings forever winking down from between the clouds. How the sunsets were not just the mundane travels our earth around the mighty star, but rather the brilliant display of so many hidden workings of the planet. How the sky can be so clear, you could feel the endlessness of outer space beyond.

Indeed, in my heart's distressed wanderings, I overlooked the many things that made me feel this place to be the right one. The reasons why I thought this was home for the next four years at least, why I thought it better than Auckland (until I found Wellington, but that's another story). In fact, I had been so sure before that I would enjoy my time here, that I would be practical and live in the now.

Of course, I'm an impractical soul. Honestly. The moment I'm reminded of the things I left behind, a glimmer of doubt breaks through. Why am I here? What am I doing here? Why should I be here? All these raced through my mind. My heart, or something close to it, pleaded for a change of place, to be out of this landlocked town in the middle of the dairy region.

I considered the options. I could easily leave. Well, easy is a relative term. I ask to be transferred, pack my bags, and scamper off to some other city in search of new grounds. But then what? I doubt I'd be happy for long wherever it is I moved into. There would be the excitement of being new, of being somewhere else...but then that would fade away into routine and I'd be stuck in this predicament once again. So, what's a guy to do?

Well, I reasoned with myself that it would only be three, four more years at the most. After that I'm pretty much welcome to bugger off wherever I please (though in reality, lack of funding will probably be an obstacle at the beginning). It's just like that night in the gym, the night I rather idiotically volunteered to watch over training equipment for instructors who had come from overseas.

Come to think of it, the conditions were eerily similar to my current predicament. Choosing without clearly thinking through the consequences. In the long term, that could be connected to me actually enrolling up in this part of the world, without having much thought on what I'd do afterwards or how I'd cope after a while. As for the gym night, I didn't think about how cold it would get (mind you, this was in winter, so it was pretty stupid to only bring a sleeping bag and sweater for warmth) or how uncomfortable sleeping directly on a wooden floor could be. As the night progressed, things became increasingly discomforting. The temperature dropped, I couldn't sleep, I didn't bring any food or water...yeah, pretty stupid. Couldn't contact anyone; it was midnight by then. I had to rest up for the following day, as there would be a whole lot more training involved and I'd miss out on too many things I'd probably never get the chance to learn again. Amidst all this, doubt began to flourish. Oh, leaving would be easy. I could just walk out the door, go home, sleep, and come back the next morning well rested. Just like that. But I'd be going against something I've promised to do. Giving up and letting down the people I had started to see as family...stay it was. In the end, I managed to sleep. I found the switch that controlled the heater fan for the gym, and could construct a makeshift bed out of some chairs. And the reward was worth it. Not only did I retain the trust and welcome from my adopted family, I also got a rare item from the most senior sensei, Yoshihiko Inoue-sensei. Oh, and some 6000 xp from surviving the two-day camp. I probably leveled up twice in that one weekend.

But I'm digressing.

The point is, this could be just like that night. A stretched out version. Staying and going through with the original plan might seem like a waste of time now...but I could always find ways of making it through. Maybe even make it enjoyable. The reward's also there. On the other hand, if I walk out the door, I could be faced with other opportunities...but perhaps not the ones I'm looking for. Either way, each action has its own set of consequences and opportunities. But for now, I'll stick with Plan A. See how it rides out. I'm already here, I've already paid...might as well make it worthwhile rather than ditching it for some other plan I haven't clearly thought out either.

In a word...meh.

p.s. To Yaz and Nda, if you guys are reading this, please know that the reason why I haven't written back is because I still have no idea what to write about. What? Write about my life? Preposterous. Compared to you guys my life is pretty much as stable as a noble gas...haha. Oh, all right. I'll write. Cheers.

[End Transmission]