This is one of those nights where I can't sleep, despite having exhausted myself thoroughly the night before.

This can mean one of three things:
a. I'm going to go down with some wierd disease, again,
b. I'm slowly building up my immune system again, and it's causing me to stay up later, or
c. I have extremely poor time management skills and/or discipline.

I'm putting my money on c.

On the bright side, I've been able to appreciate my new, albeit temporary, home a bit more. All things considered, I actually got an excellent deal. My humble (oh, alright, not-so-humble) cottage is nicely located close to the parking lot, and close to the access point into the university. Sure, it takes a bit longer to get anywhere, but the views at night are something I won't get in Studville. Due to all cottages only being one story in height, you get to see so much more...with less light, obviously.

Tonight, the moon is an almost glaring disc suspended between the horizon and that point you'd assume was the middle of the sky. Oh, it's lovely. Such a pity that my camera cannot possibly capture all the nuances that this night has brought. There are wispy clouds playing across the face of the moon, the ground lit up by the sheer lunar radiance. It's a night you'd expect to find strange people clad in black jumping from roof to roof, or lovers and friends lying down on the grass to gaze up at the sky.

Also, it's making me rather hungry for some reason. Hm.

But it's a wonderful night.

On the other news, the other guys in the cottage have decided to make some fun by doing scientific experiments around the complex. Mainly blowing up plastic bottles with vinegar and baking soda. Don't ask me why they did it...it's strange enough to hear about two scientists and an engineer placing these rather volatile explosions in a housing complex. The first explosion I assumed was someone's car backfiring. When the second one blew, they looked quite shocked (having been told off by the duty RA for the first one). And there's also a third one, which may be a dud but could also just have delayed action...hahahahahahaha. There's fun to be had as a science major, in this case. Guess you do get a little stir crazy being in a lab all day...

[End Transmission]

Haiyah

I checked the due date for my first Philosophy essay. Guess what? It's due in 3 days. How I'm going to do a 1000 word essay in 3 days is still beyond me...but nothing a few sleepless nights won't remedy. I hope. Otherwise, I'm looking at a really quick fail rate. Mwahahah.

Anyway, saw something pretty amazing tonight. Clear night sky outside, the kind that makes you feel so small in the face of it all. The half-moon shining brightly, the stars twinkling strongly...and then one of them moved. As in, it was stationary for a moment, then it started to move. Very quickly. No, I'm not under the influence. It just happened before my mortal eyes. Freaking epic. Could've been a plane, maybe an optical illusion, but I'm going to stick with my 'moving star' theory. Screw modern science and rational thought. It was magical, and that's all I need to know.

Oh, and it turns out I did mess up my wrist a bit. Which isn't good, considering that next week I have a kendo grading. And an ECON test the day after. Whoo. So, essay on Monday, kendo on Tuesday, and ECON on Wednesday...8 AM. Hahahahahahahaha. Lovely. This summer's turning out to be a lot more than I expected.

Screw it.

[End Transmission]

Ech.

I just realized my Economics paper is a whole lot easier than the one I took last semester.

To be honest, it's probably easier because I actually learned a few things back then. Also, there isn't that annoying compulsory forum section.

Which, coincidentally, forms the bulk of my Philosophy paper.

That isn't very good. But on the other hand, it'll force me to make a stand for once...even if it means getting my arse mangled by holier-than-thou Philosophy majors who always try to one-up everyone else with their thoughts.

Just kidding.

Actually, on the issue of possums in New Zealand, I believe (here we go) that they should be eliminated only if they're threatening human wellbeing. Ambiguously useful, that. Preservation of local species, perhaps for tourism or emergency food sources, may affect the welfare of humans, thus justifying the elimination of possums.

Yes, I know there's no justifying to killing. I'm taking the utilitarian view. The problem is that possums are probably already part of the NZ ecology, and getting rid of them may also cause problems in local ecosystems. Who can tell if the possums are actually doing something useful, perhaps keeping a rampant local pest from overpopulating and achieving the exact same thing DoC keeps spouting about possums? Take away all the possums (near impossible, given that they can breed and spread pretty fast), perhaps you'd leave an imbalance in the local ecology, one native species outcompeting all others. Could be just as bad as letting the possums go free, as an animal lover might argue.

Such is the joy of philosophy - you can say whatever shite you want and it'll still be valid as long as you keep it pleasantly ambiguous.

Hm.

I also seem to have injured my left wrist. Which is not good, because the Beginner Cup starts in about a month and a bit, if I've got my timetable correct. Must prove to myself that I too can fight! Yar!

[End Transmission]

Ad Infinitum

I had this thought stewing around in my head since the night of the lunar eclipse. The night the moon turned blood-red in all its ethereal glory.

It struck me that all I could think about of the eclipse was that the moon turned blood red, something eerie and ominous. Something that comes out of a videogame, where I’d be ambushed by some random monsters on the way home from kendo. That image stuck on my mind so much that I couldn’t really appreciate any other aspect of it properly. Sure, it was blood red, but that’s about all I cared. I didn’t care for any cultural significances, or celestial movements. I had effectively limited my scope to one that I was comfortable with.

Not that limiting you view is always a bad thing, really. To even try to view anything from all angles, whether physical, mental, emotional, or whatever, would drive you insane. Thus, it’s sometimes necessary for one to place a certain view on things, in a way that you’re comfortable and able to cope with. I believe it’s part of being human.

Example, a person who is not hungry can view an apple in many ways. That person may look at it and appreciate how flawless its complexion is, how healthy it looks, or how its placement in a fruit basket looks. On the other hand, a person who is hungry will most likely view the apple in less ways, probably only seeing the apple as a fruit which can be consumed.

Alternatively, we could use personalities. I believe that if my many aspects of personality are hooked out of me and extended, I’d probably reach China, or maybe even go around the world. However, the ‘me’ that people see and perceive is but a fraction of that length, in a spectrum which people accept me in. One of my juniors, a girl who knows me only through words and bits of information scattered throughout online conversations, sees that ‘me’ as a loving (perhaps doting) elder brother that she might not have had. What she will think of me once the cybernetic barrier is lifted and we finally meet in person, that will be something to look forward to. Would I meet her expectations of what she perceives me to be? It’s easy to give advice and talk to a person you clearly don’t know, but to do so once you have extended the boundaries of perception and become emotionally involved with that person...that’s a whole different story entirely. Probably most of the people who talk to me over MSN (discounting close, ‘real-life’ friends) hardly know me as anything but the ‘big brother’ presence which assures them that things will be fine and tries to give them good advice to learn from. Ironically, my arbitrary advice on romantic relationships seems to work on others rather than myself. Personal experiences drawn from observing the love lives of others doesn’t automatically work, useful as it is for reference.

On that same note, most of my best friends first saw me as an annoying, somewhat snooty jerk who kept getting his foot in his mouth and complicating affairs. Likewise, my relationship with them mostly started out on the wrong foot (e.g. arguing with Han on the bus because he couldn’t shut up, starting an unfriendly rivalry with Nda in drama class, immediately showing Yaz my photo albums the first time she came to my house, constantly ‘harassing’ Apu because I had a huge crush on her...the list just goes on and on) and ironically end up with a strong bond of camaraderie. Their perception spectrums (as well as mine) were gradually broadened after a rather constricted first opinion, generally because of some event that shows either or both parties in a light the other hasn’t seen. Or just that we have nobody else to hang around with, as was most cases of my friendships. The best of comradeships are formed in the most difficult of situations...even if it’s because of a difficulty in hanging out with other people.

I could put this in a religious/political perspective, but why bother? My views on those things don’t really matter. As far as I’m concerned, my religious perspective is wide enough to tolerate others (which don’t try to impose their perspectives on me) yet narrow enough for me to keep focused and detailed on. Politics...well...let’s just say I have a thing against politics. It’s all a big, convoluted, hypocritical mass which is as fickle as lady luck. Perspectives in that change as often as thoughts in someone with ADD.

The whole point of this entry was just to remind myself that although the world around me really has no boundaries if I want to view it that way, I automatically constrict myself to a boxed-in viewpoint, much like conventional maps. I do it because it’s convenient, comfortable, and less complicated. I could choose to try to view people in all their aspects, but all that would do is make me stalk a few people for years just to know every angle of them.

And why the serious rant all of a sudden? No real reason, I'm just feeling pseudo-philosophical.

[End Transmission]

Another Sleepless Night

Well, here I am again. Back at the old table but the side of the mezz, doing an essay due the next day. And as per usual, there are the familiar faces also stuck behind glowing laptop screens.

After a talk with my Dad, I decided to do what he's been doing; meditating. Sit, close my eyes, breathe normally, relax, then count from 100 to 0 backwards. Achieving that, I am to relax completely and say what I want to accomplish. The idea being that now I'm relaxed and have all the random thoughts in my mind pushed out, I'll do my work. I gotta say, it's kinda working. Not in a "use-the-Force-Luke" kind of moment where it all becomes clear, but little by little. As you can see here, I probably messed up somewhere inbetween. That's why I'm wasting precious minutes writing a blog. Meh.

Thing is, I'm not that scared tonight. Unlike last Thursday, which was Hell on Earth personified in the guise of Lucy's essay. I'm not sure why, but this time I feel a bit more confident. Okay, maybe a bit overconfident, considering I've only started three hours ago.

But essay writing in uni sure is different from what I've been doing in highschool...which was two years ago. Well, I know I should've seen it coming miles away. This time around, I won't be able to bullshit my way through a paper with nary a reference. Oh, no. This time, I have to bullshit my way through the paper...APA style. Oooh, yeah. This'll take some getting used to, but I'm pretty sure I can. Heck yeah.

Oh, another kendo grading coming up soon. This is the one that'll tell me whether or not I'm worthy of wearing the l33t armor and hakama which seperates those with commitment and those without. The bad news: it's on Saturday. The Saturday before the Monday with two essays due. Kurappu. But if I play my cards right this time around, I should get through. Just get through, mind you. I'm not that confident that I'll think I can breeze through that.

Hmm...what else to say. I've got my sights set on someone else (my RA's too busy these days...drat). I'll have to say hi sooner or later. So here's looking for sooner.

Oh well. Essays don't write themselves, and I've got the rest of the night to reflect (and probably regret) why I didn't do it sooner. Hindsight always comes 20/20, eh.

p.s. I think Nda's on here as well...very nice.

[End Transmission]

Music of the Night

For every night of the week I'm online in the Dining Hall (seeing as to how it's the only place in StudVill with free Internet access), there's always a chance someone's going to play the old piano in the small alcove known as Don's Den. I'll post up a picture to show what it looks like later. But first things first.

Now, most of the time there's the usual guy, American, methinks. He usually comes in and plays what sounds to be his song (or a pianofied rendition of Stairway to Heaven), and launches into a hour-long repertoire. And he sings quite well when he plays, even if what he plays gets painfully repetitive at times. But heck, it's free entertainment on my lonely nights, so I won't complain.

A less-than-usual patron would be the East Asian guy. This guy plays mostly what I perceive to be his own stuff. And when he plays, he plays like mad. I mean, his head whips from side to side so often that self-induced whiplash doesn't sound implausible. He also sings...but not as well as the American guy. His is more like a nasally, high pitched voice. It's pretty damn hard to understand whether he's singing or just randomly spouting out words, but fun all the same.

The last guy I've heard so far is the guy I termed "Surfie". He's got the surfie do; long blonde hair, blond mo, red skin...that kind. And so far, his performances are rare but worth looking out for. He plays excellently. Almost country-like twang to his playing, but on the whole very enjoyable. His is relaxing. Kinda like being in a cafe or hotel lounge where you've got the guy playing slow but powerful. He also sings, and he's pretty darn good at it too. He's playing right now, actually. And I wish I had a cup of coffee here too.

Anyway, the best part of listening and/or watching them play is the fact that they're so engrossed when they're doing it. It makes me kinda jealous at times; once upon a time I took piano lessons but never got around to picking it up. There's something about someone playing the piano well that gives it class. The smooth tones, the sensation of strings being hit gracefully...yup. Even when you play it roughly (like Hiromi does...Hiromi...mmm...) it still has the voice to make it sound like an exotic accent instead of something completely different.

Yea. That's the nice part about being in StudVill. It has a place where people of different backgrounds can be in one place. One doesn't necessarily have to interact to enjoy company. After all, just the notion that there's someone else still typing away nearby in the darkness of midnight.

Whoa, Surfie dude is playing Your Song! Hahaha. Keren abis. I wish Apu were here to hear it. We'd probably sing along, like in the old days.

Sigh.

Oh, about the essay, I think I bombed it. But that's kinda good. I now remember the stress I forgot during all those days mooching at home. Yar. I have slipped, and seen myself sinking. The question now...will I be able to do all my other essays in time? *dramatic music*

Anyway, I can probably sleep around 12 tonight, so that ought to give me a proper amount of rest. I've got one Earth103 essay due Monday, and an essay for both Geog103 and ESLA101 the week after. It's not much time. And suddenly, the end of the semester is closer than I expected.

Whoa.

I mean, whoa.

That means the girls will be leaving in a month's time. And I'll have finished my first semester abroad. It's true...time waits for no-one.

Oh well.

Time to get started on my other...essay...must...stay...

[Transmission Cut]